Fog of Glory

(Knott's Scary Farm Buena Park , CA)

October 4th, 2015

As the banks of fog rise into the Buena Park sky at sunset, this can mean only one thing: Haunt. Knott's

THE SIX FEET UNDER:

Below are the reviews of the individual haunts, which may or may not contain spoilers. In a nutshell, $16 a person was a great price for this event as a whole. $32 is not. That discount was offered for opening night only. The mazes all seemed a little thin in talent, and KarnEvil lacked decor. The Haunted Hayride was the saving grace of the evening, despite the horrid wait time. We recommend skipping KarnEvil, and purchasing the Double Haunt ticket for The House of Horrors and The Haunted Hayride for $23. Otherwise, The Haunted Hayride is $18 by itself.

MAZES

Trick Or Treat --

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 10

ORIGINALITY/THEME 10

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 11

MONSTERS 12

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 10

OVERALL 53/100

Voodoo--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 18

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 15

MONSTERS 17

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 17

OVERALL 84/100

Paranormal Inc.--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 19

ORIGINALITY/THEME 18

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 18

MONSTERS 18

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 16

OVERALL 89/100

The Tooth Fairy--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 15

ORIGINALITY/THEME 18

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 16

MONSTERS 16

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 17

OVERALL 82/100

Forevermore--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 14

ORIGINALITY/THEME 15

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 12

MONSTERS 14

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 68/100

Pinocchio Unstrung--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 14

ORIGINALITY/THEME 15

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 10

MONSTERS 12

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 64/100

Dead of Winter--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 17

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 10

MONSTERS 15

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 14

OVERALL 73/100

 

Black Magic --

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 17

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 13

MONSTERS 16

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 17

OVERALL 80/100

Gunslinger's Grave: A Blood Moon Rises --

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 13

ORIGINALITY/THEME 12

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 10

MONSTERS 14

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 62/100

My Bloody Clementine--

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 12

ORIGINALITY/THEME 16

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 8

MONSTERS 16

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 65/100

A SOPHOMORE TRIUMP

(Savage House Mission Valley, CA)

October 1st , 2015

After taking an unplanned year off, Savage Productions returns in 2015, ready to take San Diego by storm. A bit of hard luck, unpredictable new mall management and a bevy of uncooperative city officials lead to disappointment and ultimately the cancellation of the 2014 haunt scheduled for Parkway Plaza in El Cajon. After heartache and trials of tribulations, Savage Productions refused to hang up on haunting. Their search for a new home ended with a highly visible location in the heart of San Diego at Westfield's Mission Valley Mall; Savage House sits just beyond Target in a bank of fog and screams. Gregg Curtis and Jenn Smith have had two years to develop this new attraction, and they didn't disappoint.

So often do haunts start with not much to look at. A dark passageway or tunnel, no back story or preshow--just an entrance. Here we have a great queue with a set composed of themed decor accompanied by a fitting soundtrack. Once you enter the haunt, there is a preshow to set the tone and overall mood of the haunt. We are quickly brought up to date on the travesty taking place and quickly sent on our own to fend for ourselves and escape the terror. Every room has something to look at, which plays in the hands of the actors perfectly. There are some interactions with the haunt's residents that may leave you a little wet. This can happen one of numerous ways or combinations. Consider yourself forewarned.

It is truly hard to imagine that Savage Productions managed to set all of this up in a parking lot in the time frame they had, but they did, and it was executed precisely. What will make this haunt stand out from the rest of the stand-alone haunts in Southern California is the attention to detail in the set design and the quality of monsters (haunt actors). It is amazing to me the loyalty shown to each house by the talent that returns season after season, never seeming to age or fade. The quality here is no exception of that. Even on the first night of operation, all 40 plus actors were firing off on all cylinders. The energy was high, and the screams were loud. The set design and fabrication is that of a Knott's Scary Farm maze--some of the best work I've seen to date. Gregg and Jenn take a lot of pride in their fabrication, as they should. Everything is produced in-house by them at the Zombie Ranch in Boulevard, CA. The haunt features some very intricate details that may be missed by those fearing what lurks around every corner. There are no empty hallways or blank canvas; every room and wall is themed. The haunt has a continuous flowing story unlike most haunts today. One haunt, multiple rooms, one theme. There is no hodge podge of themes all mashed together under one roof. No zombies, aliens and clowns all coexisting; just a bunch of hillbillies ready to feast on your flesh. Savage House set out to tell a story, and they delivered.

THE SIX FEET UNDER:

Savage House sits atop of our list in rankings. With the "Big Three" continuing to wheel out tired rotating sets and props, it's time for San Diegans to try something fresh and new. This team is looking for redemption on literally getting robbed of their true sophomore attempt. There is no slumping here in season number two, and the evil lurking inside is waiting for you.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 18

ORIGINALITY/THEME 16

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 17

MONSTERS 18

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 17

OVERALL 86/100

DECELENT FAIRGROUNDS

(The Screamzone Del Mar, CA)

September 25th, 2015

The Del Mar Fairgrounds has a rich history and tradition of hosting the San Diego County Fair every summer, as well as a late summer leg of the national horse race circuit. The races were graced at one time by the likes of Bing Crosby and Dean Martin in its heyday. But come every fall since 1998, the fairgrounds (well, at least a very small portion of it in the very far back) transforms into "The Scaregrounds" to host The Screamzone. Going into its 18th season, sadly it's treated like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. Tucked well beyond the glorified race track, its beautiful architecture and historic show halls, The Screamzone is placed on a plot of dirt that typically houses trailers of stuffed animal backstock during the summer's fair for games that are nearly impossible to win. At 18 years old, The Screamzone is showing some major wear and tear with a Band-Aid of a fix to barely make it appear acceptable to the general paying attendee.

As we approached the dark parking lot, only a few sandwich board signs give you indication where to go and park. Once parked, you are on foot the rest of the way. There are no fancy facades or photo opportunities at the entrance. Instead you have what appears to be a left over gazebo from the fair with swaged bistro lights. A fairground's bungalow trailer serves as the ticket box office, which does allows them to accept all major credit cards unlike most other haunts in San Diego. Once inside, there isn't much to do but stand in queue lines. There are a handful of food vendors, serving up greasy fair-fried items, as well as a small merchandise tent with shirts and glow gear. The two adult beverage stations was a plus, and with so many minors in attendance, there was almost no wait to get an ice-cold frothy Blue Moon.

The overall appearance of The Screamzone is sub par. It looks like a baron sideshow carnival, depleted of all life and decor, with the exception of the patrons and 3 to 4 demented clowns. The facades of each maze tent is an eyesore in craftsmanship. When you read about the haunts on their official page, you would come to expect huge exterior treatments like Knott' s Scary Farm. Very far from it. The producers (The Haunted Hotel group) should take the liberty in creating a haunted atmospheric environment; not try to get away with whatever is cheapest. It feels the way it looks: empty and hollow.

What The Screamzone did have going for it was the half-off triple haunt combo ticket. It was only $16 instead of $32 per person, opening night only. And parking was free. But they made their money back on the two $10 beers we purchased to make the hour and half wait for the hayride slightly more tolerable. Standing amongst hundreds of middle school and high school students was interesting to say the least. Judging by what these female minors were wearing on this warm fall evening, there must of been a lot of fathers out waiting at home with a shotgun. Denim diapers seems to be the thing to leave the house in these days.

Our opinion of order is to go left to right from the entrance: House of Horrors, KarnEvil, then the Haunted Hayride. The hayride's queue line is very slow, so I advise to grab a cold beverage ahead of entering. There is a paintball hayride portion that we did not participate in, as well as a few carnival type games, all for nominal fees.

THE SIX FEET UNDER:

Below are the reviews of the individual haunts, which may or may not contain spoilers. In a nutshell, $16 a person was a great price for this event as a whole. $32 is not. That discount was offered for opening night only. The mazes all seemed a little thin in talent, and KarnEvil lacked decor. The Haunted Hayride was the saving grace of the evening, despite the horrid wait time. We recommend skipping KarnEvil, and purchasing the Double Haunt ticket for The House of Horrors and The Haunted Hayride for $23. Otherwise, The Haunted Hayride is $18 by itself.

MAZES

House of Horrors--This maze had a few things we really liked: a long stretch of dark turns, dead ends and some nice set pieces. It also features a scene similar to The Exorcist that was easily the highlight, thanks to an incredible actor. But the maze overall lacked a feel of polish and set dressing. The maze was a good length, but with that comes long stretches of baron walls and rooms stretched thin. This maze definitely felt like there were areas the actors were missing from. Maybe it was an understaffed evening. But, when people are paying for the product on any given night of operation, the producer has to be held accountable, regardless of the projected attendance. That is a major haunt killer all the way around. I understand the costs of operation, but the general public doesn't know everything that goes into the production. We have to view all of our reviews from the average attendee.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 10

ORIGINALITY/THEME 5

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 6

MONSTERS 12

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 46/100

KarnEvil--I have a lot of concerns for this maze. It felt unfinished, understaffed and short in length. If the idea of the chamber of doors was to drag out the duration of the maze time, we conquered that in one try. We felt bad for the two actors working the area because their room became infested with several groups constantly choosing the wrong door. The actors quickly fell out of character and had to lead people out so new groups could enter the maze. The ageless vortex tunnel still manages to mess with your vision, but could lead to trouble being followed by a staircase instead of a safety ramp. The poor actor stationed at the end of the tunnel has to break character constantly, making sure patrons didn't tumble down the stairs. The final room felt like a major let down. Nothing in this maze showcased its theme either. Very vanilla in set dressing, and seemed to be very light in actors.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 5

ORIGINALITY/THEME 3

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 7

MONSTERS 5

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 11

OVERALL 31/100

The Haunted Hayride--This was easily the highlight of the evening. Despite long wait times like a new Disneyland attraction, this haunt salvaged our evening filled with disappointment. What seemed like a 15 minute ride, it was filled with sets and great actors that got up close and personal. They remained in character and played well off verbiage shouted by patrons in our wagon. The atmosphere created in each horse stall alley was nearly perfect, each having its own theme. The play on The Walking Dead's prison was nicely executed, including a cool special effect. The only downside was the over use of discarded lumber and OSB, which the texture shows through any amount of paint used. Even with that being said, the trailers in the trailer park alley still looked great! This was hands down the best of the three haunts at The Screamzone.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 14

ORIGINALITY/THEME 15

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 14

MONSTERS 15

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 15

OVERALL 73/100

2014

NEW LOCATION GRANTS EXPANSION OF SCARES

(The Empty Grave Mission Viejo , CA)

October 27th, 2014

The Empty Grave 2015 review coming soon.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 17

ORIGINALITY/THEME 16

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 18

MONSTERS 18

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 16

OVERALL 85/100

2013

SCARING EAST COUNTY... IN EAST COUNTY

(Savage House La Mesa , CA)

October 12th, 2013

I woke up a few weeks ago to a text message that read: Congrats on the new haunt! But it was later that I realized that individual was talking about Savage House at Grossmont Center, and not our new haunt in Irvine. Assuming since I've always been Mr. La Mesa and all things Halloween, naturally they thought I was involved. Not the case. I was shocked to learn earlier this summer that a group had found a way to finally crack east county with a pro haunt. We have made several attempts since 2007 at trying to get something going from Santee to Lakeside to my own backyard--the city of La Mesa. Each step of the way was incredibly difficult and not financially worth the struggle and battle at the time. We faced severe permitting issues, planning committee appose, and fire safety codes that would not fit within our budget's means. Some even wanted traffic and field studies, all which start at $10,000. And even that didn't guarantee anything. We still had to present the research to the councils and planning committee for which they could vote on. Then we could start the permitting process. No thanks.

But, two individual found a way.

Meet Jennifer Smith (most know her as Jenn) and Gregg Curtis of Savage Productions. They offer a variety of cool movie themed props and decor--all designed, created and produced in-house. Ranging from Freddy and Jason, to more recent movie monsters like Sam from trick r' treat; there is plenty of realistic decor to choose from, including full sized figures. Some may know Gregg and Jenn from running the Screamzone at the Del Mar Fairgrounds for Haunted Hotel, and others may know Jenn from Sinister Pointe once upon a nightmare. Either way, these two fought their way through and overcame several obstacles over a three-year period to break free of the controlling haunt main force in San Diego County, and make a name for themselves. And in their first few weeks of opening, they are.

East county really hasn't had a good pro haunt venue since the mid 90's, when Valhalla High School's infamous haunt came to halt for unknown reasons. There are plenty of decent and really good home haunts that have good followings, but nothing commercially has ever been made available. Most claim it was fire marshals that insisted on drywall sheet rock haunt walls, which no sane haunter would be willing to lug around. It is rumored Haunted Hotel had put some feelers out in the late 90's with no resulting luck. It's a shame, too, because east county is a haunt-goer breeding ground; a lot of traffic through the Screamzone, Haunted Hotel and Trail resides in El Cajon and Santee. It would only seem fitting that a haunt be placed right in the middle of that somewhere. Gregg said that several venues had fallen through, and Grossmont wasn't their first choice, but at the present, it seems to be working out nicely. Most people that have never been involved in the planning stages of a haunt do not realize how much time and effort goes into the process. And that's all before casting and hiring for the haunt--a whole different monster. Venues often get excited by the quick buck and large crowds, but eventually get detoured once they review the logistics of the whole pie and get reviewed for fire safety. But, gauging by the size of queue line this particular late Saturday night, it seems to be making it worth their while.

Nestled in the police beacon-illuminated fogbank, Savage House sits on the top level of Target's parking structure. So the first thing a haunt-goer can be excited about is plenty of free parking (and, yes, you can park up there right out in front of the haunt). Second, you can hear all the screams from inside the maze, see the people who bail out the emergency exits, and some cool special effects oozing from the roof of the maze. This is something building haunts lack. Having all this atmosphere from an outdoor haunt creates an energy of fear and testosterone unlike no other.

Now, be patient, because you may have to wait in line a bit. But it is worth it. There is a pre-show segment, so you don't want that to be rushed or run into a group somewhere in the maze that went in before you. Spacing is done for a reason--so your group gets an optimal experience. It is not done to upset you or drag out your wait, so again, please be patient with them.

As far as the maze goes, it's a bargain for the $11 regular priced admission. Most southern California haunts start at $15 or higher. I swore to Gregg I wouldn't give any of the scares away, so you will have to be a Savage House victim yourself to experience it. They also have a cool memorabilia museum for an additional $3 charge. Inside you will find some of the pieces they make, along with several movie props, full sized figures in screen used costumes/accessories and vehicles. Lots of great picture opportunities and some cool fun facts about each piece. I will say though that my favorite part of this haunt is the cool set dressing and design in many of the rooms. Great visuals and lighting effects, and the monster actors compliment them nicely. Will you survive or become infected?

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 17

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 16

MONSTERS 14

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 18

OVERALL 82/100

 

FOG LIFTS TO REVEAL HAUNT

(Knott's Scary Farm Buena Park, CA)

September 26th, 2013

The fog began to roll in just after 6:00pm, rising high into the air above the locked main gates of Knott's. A DJ entertained the awaiting haunt goers and media representatives as the Green Witch had sent out her "tricksters" on a mission: to capture a media guest, carry her beyond the park's gates and rip out her intestines. Most likely she was a plant in the crowd, but off to a great start, right? From there the night was just like the fog--filled with highs and lows. A high point for a general admission seeker was the low attendance (much lower than opening night 2012) and the admission price--the lowest of any date of the 2013 season. The small crowd also made it a lot easier to take some great photographs of the maze facades and decorations throughout the park. But as we traversed throughout Ghostown and Fog Alley, the lack of young children and teenage girls removed the shrills and shrieks throughout the streets. Haunt is much more enjoyable and keeps most on edge when screams carry through the air. Our group in general hardly got startled yet alone scared, but keep in mind we are also in the industry. Regardless, Knott's is suppose to be the industry standard and should hire Southern California's most seasoned talent and scariest monsters.

The evening did have it's perks. I've had the distinguished honor of having to pay The Mouse a small ransom to attend events at Disneyland in the past. However, Knott's provided a free media event for Haunt that blows away anything that I've had to pay for at the other park. The had a great spread from fresh carved prime rib to small bite-sized pumpkin pies. Free beer and wine flowed from the skeletal hands of the barkeeps, and free admission with complimentary Skeleton Keys and Fright Lane front-of-the-line passes were provided as well. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for more! Job well done by the marketing team.

Before I can assess a general overall score of Haunt, we will first go step by step through the attractions and shows. We plan to revisit the park so that we can review the shows that we missed the opportunity to see--most notably Possessed, Jeff Tucker's personal project. Each category is scored out of 20 (two scores out of 10 were added together).

SHOWS

ELVIRA'S SINEMA SEANCE--First off, for just turning 62, she has not missed a step or beat in charm, beauty or comedic timing. Unlike Chevy Chase, she's still the old Elvira we all know and fell in love with--still hypnotizing us with her ageless bust. The show's highlight was a reel of spoof parodies which featured the Mistress of The Dark in place of key actors in famous horror movie scenes. It was definitely a crowd pleaser and drew a lot of laughter. The show also featured Academy of Villains who did some amazing handwork to create large talking and singing faces as a group.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 15

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR N/A

MONSTERS N/A

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 19

OVERALL 51/60

 

The Hanging--It Stinks--Well, it didn't totally stink, but it sure is getting tired. As per the usual, a clever and witty song about Disney capitalism was the core of the show. By rearranging Disney animation classic ballads--Ariel, Sebastian, Lumiere, and the cast of the Lion King were all replaced with Star Wars characters, singing us the tale of the deal struck between George Lucas and The Mouse House. Maybe it is time to do an original comedic show without relying so heavily on bashing the other Orange County theme park; Knott's jealousy of Disney's great themed attractions and merchandise sales is old news. Disney is what it is: the best at what they do, and everyone knows that. So move on. Even The Hanging's set this year resembles a Disney castle, which has no place in a western setting. A man dressed as Mickey Mouse came out on stage like Hitler with his anti-Semitic ways and belted out orders. Satire and parody has in recent years been the calling of The Hanging, along with the slaying of the previous year's most nuisant celebrities. It might be time for a complete overhaul of the show's outline and concept. I like the comedic appeal instead of just doing the serious midnight show, but the killing off of celebs and spending so much time mocking Disney only makes them look that more desperate.

REVISION 10/15/13--I've listened to "Under Mickey" a million times since the night we went, so they recieved an upgrade. The music is always good in this production.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 14

ORIGINALITY/THEME 14(+2)

MAZE SCARE FACTOR N/A

MONSTERS N/A

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 15

OVERALL 43/60

MAZES

Trick Or Treat--The sophomore year for this maze keeps us wanting to come back for more! It's not the scare factor that allures us, but the richness in Halloween tradition and design. This maze includes many classic odes to the holiday and provides a great home for the Green Witch and all of her little "tricksters". The visuals are stunning and the witch appears in two separate rooms with lighting and sound effects on cue. It's a very festive fright, and you can't help but leave with a smile instead of breathing heavily. But the smile is pure and genuine, for you are glad that you came to the Farm, and feel like your maze trail has started off with a festive bang, getting you in the mood to spread the Halloween spirit. The downside to this great maze: our rating system is based on scare factors, and this one will suffer due to it being more frightfully fun than scary. The C- rating is very deceiving; the long waits will tell you differently. It's worth waiting for the opportunity to ring that doorbell.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 19

ORIGINALITY/THEME 19

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 10

MONSTERS 10

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 71/100

End Games--This maze isn't on my favorite list because for one big reason--I don't get it. I don't understand the theming or the underlying messages. The designer had a vision--and I see it--I just don't get it. Big rock monsters, post apocalypse wartime themes and scenes--a big mess of nothing. The soundtrack is filled with heavy metal tunes and a voice over that makes me feel like I'm in a used car commercial or a parody video game advertisement. The built in photo opp feels out of place because there isn't much of a wait--most patrons appeared to be skipping this maze in favor of heading directly towards Dominion of the Damned. The Skeleton Key room seemed bland compared to others. This should get replaced next season.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 11

ORIGINALITY/THEME 12

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 12

MONSTERS 12

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 12

OVERALL 59/100

Dominion of the Damned--As we entered our third maze of the night, I finally felt like we were getting into the mix of Haunt. The second Skeleton Key room was again on the boring or completely unnecessary side, but once you get into the regular maze, it was very nice on the eyes and kept us on the lookout. The queue had some nice decor aside from a pointless photo opp, but this attraction felt like it got some nice refurbishment from the 2012 version. There were creepy vampires lurking everywhere, and some very cool sets and effects. I want the faux finisher who did all of the marble work to get a bonus--job well done! Disney would be proud.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 15

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 13

MONSTERS 15

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 16

OVERALL 76/100

Delirium--If you want creepy crawlies or have a great fear of them--than this one's for you. This maze offers wall to wall buzzing and tickling from mutated insects. The original sculptures and animatronics are hideously nice. I wouldn't mind seeing this maze refreshed for 2014; I think the theme is solid and could hang around longer than the normal three-year life span of a normal Knott's maze theme with a little modification and refurbishment each season. The downside: where were the monsters??? Besides the big bug monster that emerged from the dark at the end and a crazy girl in the cockroach room, none of the actors really come to mind when I think back to this maze. That would be a nice improvement if it returns in 2014.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 15

ORIGINALITY/THEME 14

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 13

MONSTERS 11

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 11

OVERALL 64/100

Forevermore--One of the two absolute best mazes we saw in 2013. With Terror of London long gone, this was a great replacement, jumping to New England with Edgar Allen Poe. With a modern day twist, and some creepy voiceover readings of selected passages of Poe's literary works, this maze was brilliantly designed and executed on night one. With a beautiful raven/woman skeletal creature, a fun water feature and a moving room full of ravens--what was there not to like? The theme was used perfectly in the final design with the creepy overtones of Poe's work materialized made this maze a must see.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 19

ORIGINALITY/THEME 19

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 16

MONSTERS 16

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 16

OVERALL 86/100

Pinocchio Unstrung--Our favorite maze of 2012 returned this season only to slightly disappoint. This maze definitely scored higher last year, partly to being fresh and new. This year the monsters tried to be funny more than scary. And if they didn't execute that on purpose then, oh, what a mess. A recasting would be a must. Timing was off, no one was scary and the suspended actor spent more time watching guests pass by then lunging down toward them. I hope to see it return in 2014 with maybe some new vision. I would suggest a new designer come in and make their impression on what material they are given and take it in a new direction. Could be really scary and a lot of fun. A 12-foot animatronic is not scary.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 17

ORIGINALITY/THEME 17

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 10

MONSTERS 10

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 10

OVERALL 64/100

Black Magic--This maze by far is the single greatest maze I have ever been through at Knott's Scary Farm. The Skeleton Key room is a must do, so find a way to get your claws on one! The seance has great special effects and adds some story telling to the maze. In the height of Disney going projection crazy, this maze facade explores it a bit too. A great replacement to where the Carnevil use to sit. The makeup on the tearaway faces is incredible and the water features will leave an impact on you. Much like Forevermore, this maze has a very modern fell in technology without displaying it and toning down the theme. The final room will captivate you, making you want to take a seat in the first row of the theatre and watch Houdini perform his act over and over again high above you.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 20

ORIGINALITY/THEME 20

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 16

MONSTERS 15

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 17

OVERALL 88/100

Mirror Mirror--This maze was one of the hugest disappointments of the evening. Without the Fright Lane Pass, the waits on this slow night exceeded an hour and a half. I only remember about 3 actors inside the maze, and I wouldn't necessarily describe them as monsters either. This seemed like this should have been more like a game or a room inside Trapped. This doesn't work as a haunt maze--it's not scary at all. In fact, a lot of people walked away really upset for waiting so long for something so short. The maze appears to be under 400 square feet and looks like something you would go through at the local county fair. My advice: SKIP IT.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 5

ORIGINALITY/THEME 10

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 1

MONSTERS 3

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 2

OVERALL 21/100

Uncle Willy's BBQ Slaughterhouse--An oldie but goodie! I was actually quite pleased with this maze. Some returning patrons felt that it's tired and needs to be replaced. Some people flat out skipped it for whatever reasons. I actually enjoyed this maze more than I did in 2012. The sets are great, the story telling is perfect: the maze makes sense! The flow through tells the story for you and it goes backwards from slop on the table to the receiving doors where the "meat" gets delivered. The designer should be proud of this maze; it's a shame that hardly anyone was going through it (it felt like DCA's The Little Mermaid attraction). A Major concern of mine was that the Bloody Drums overpower and tarnish this maze's sound design. It will be a shame when this maze gets retired next season--it's inevitable.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 15

ORIGINALITY/THEME 16

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 13

MONSTERS 13

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 13

OVERALL 70/100

The Gunslinger's Grave --Coming into the park, this was a maze I was really looking forward to. Unfortunately, it fell flat on it's face like Doc Brown in Back to the Future Part III after taking a shot of whiskey. The actors all seemed confused and out of place. There were way too many of them and it seems as if they were background players of a movie shoot pretending to socialize with one another instead of scaring patrons. The bartender blasting you with a shotgun felt more like National Lampoon's Vacation then a scare scene. The wolf in the barn (should have been a coyote anyway) looked like Fluffy and the Gunslinger himself looked like he was offering me a bromance ride with him on his ghastly stead. Not sure what to make of this one yet; I'll give it another go around and see if I like it better. The Skeleton Key room was down when we went through, so that was a big bummer and deflated our momentum before we even proceeded into the haunt. Little things like that can really swing the vote. The designer needs to literally grab the bull by the horns on this maze and regroup and organize it better. There was complete mayhem going on and it makes the producers look completely over run and out of control.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 14

ORIGINALITY/THEME 13

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 11

MONSTERS 10

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 10

OVERALL 58/100

RIDES

The Witch's Keep--In 2012, The Mine Ride layover wasn't ready by opening night, so we didn't see it. The Log Ride last year, however, was fun and featured the original The Evil Dead theme. Due to Garner Holt Productions re-imagining Timber Mountain to Disney $tandards, it has been deemed untouchable for a few seasons to prevent damage to all of GHP's upgrades. With that being said, GHP is bring The Mine Ride up to par next year, so maybe that's why they didn't spend a lot of time and resources on the haunted version of this old Knott's staple. It looks like (no--I know for a fact) that the designer ran to WalMart and spent a couple hundred bucks on Halloween garb and tossed it around the caves. There's even the WalMart exclusive Wizard of Oz witch animatronic inside one of the rooms. The fogged out cavern was the highlight because you couldn't see anything (meaning I couldn't see the home haunt decor from WalMart scattered around). I can't wait to see the regular daytime reincarnation of this attraction by GHP and see the Haunt's version put to rest in Boot Hill.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 9

ORIGINALITY/THEME 9

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 5

MONSTERS N/A

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING N/A

OVERALL 23/60

THE SIX FEET UNDER : C+

All in all, there truly is no place like Knott's. I think ADA compliancy has really watered down the mazes over the last few years by making the passage ways wider with less turns and twists, so blame the State of California and Theodore Pinnock for that one. I also think the mazes are tamer now to capture the younger audience as well. Broader market equals higher ticket sales. Knott's needs fresh blood coming through the gates to stay open another 40 years. And I think it is getting harder and harder for seasoned veterans to return on minimum wage. It's just too hard to live in the Golden State by only taking home a couple hundred bucks a week. Loyalty can only carry you so far.

The shows are fun, but eat up maze time. Be sure to plan you visit accordingly. My best advice is to get to the park on time, hit as many mazes early on and save the shows for the end of the night. You can ride The Mine Ride at any time, just don't go when The Hanging lets out unless you are at the back of the crowd.

The scarezones lacked actors, or actors willing to do much. Most just walked by you with their most menacing paced walk and maybe a quick lunge. A few even looked a bit nervous around groups of men. Last year there seemed to be so many more, but I have a feeling Knott's schedules the amount of actors based on forecasted ticket sales. More tickets sold equals more monsters on that given night. The fog even seemed to lack in some areas, and Fiesta De Los Muertos seemed to be completely lacking everything but the dance stage. There wasn't much decor, and it wasn't very popular. Just a couple of face-painted dancers and a DJ.

Our rating system is very critical to any haunted attraction, but I think in this day in age, it has to be. There are television shows currently on that never would have aired on network TV just ten years ago. CSI broke the rules and boundaries and allowed room for shows like The Walking Dead and American Horror Story to be welcomed into our homes. I would never have watched this type of programming as a youth--even into my late teens, yet my seven year old daughter finds it all fascinating to watch. Our standards in the industry have risen to new levels, and so must we all. Motivation drives us to build a better haunt, and when you command $38-$62 a ticket before add-ons, you better live up to that price. If you don't, you are no better than Disney charging $27.99 for a adult silk screened t-shirt. Knott's loves to poke fun at The Mouse House, but what about Haunt? To command top dollar, you must have the best haunted attractions to offer for it. Period.

 

CONSTRUCTION DUST LINGERS INSTEAD OF A MARINE LAYER OF FOG

(SeaWorld's Halloween Spooktacular San Diego, CA)

September 28th, 2013

As Platinum Annual Passholders, it frustrates me on so many levels to see what distress and condition our poor little SeaWorld's been left in after the company's focus has solely been on the 50th anniversary in 2014. Captain Lucky and his misfit motley crew has sailed off into retirement, along with the kid friendly haunt maze that followed the viewing Pirates 4D in the Mission Bay Theatre. After going through an extensive remodel to house Madagascar Live!, it was revealed today that San Diego will indefinitely say goodbye to any type of 4D movie, including the popular Polar Express during the Christmas season at the park. With all of the special effects removed from the theatre, it was deemed irrelevant to show the films. So with the movie, so went the Captain Lucky's Maze, which doesn't leave much to do in the park with the Halloween theme. What we are left with is a tired Elmo and Count Von Count show, Sesame Street's Countdown to Halloween, and Clyde and Seamore returning to dearly departed (well, actually SHE'S living quite large and happy now over in Wild Arctic) Uncle Schmedley’s Castle in Clyde and Seamore's Spooky Adventure, or better know as Spooky Kooky Castle. Yes, the 80's song is back, and letting the crowd know that the inhabitants are still really kind of kooky, but sadly the organ remains trapped in 1989, when the show first left us (the set designer can't quite figure out a way to make it work into the current stage design). So "Biff" as Drac (instead of the white faced mime) plays a pretend organ over the maid's coffin. A lot of the original gags have returned, and Sea Lion & Otter Stadium has finally retired Michael Jackson's "Thriller" as the finale. This year we get a little Beetlejuice going on with "Shake, Senora", a much more fitting tune to end the show on.

Gobs and gobs of great name brand candy can still be endlessly collected by both children and adults alike, but at what price? What set pieces and props SeaWorld did wheel out have been modified and shrunk down to fit in two small areas. There even seemed to be several Trick Or Treat stations missing this year, and a lot less costumed characters. And, on this day, the park was so impacted, we couldn't even park in Platinum Preferred Parking (now known as Up Close Parking). We had to park a mile out by the Fiesta Island boat launch station. They had a private event going on with a large company, but with all of the construction going on, people were corralled like cattle. I haven't seen the park this busy since a summer day maybe 7-10 years ago. It was that busy. I guess people really love free candy. The wrong day to schedule a private event when kicking off the Spooktacular season.

The only glimmer of a highlight past the Sea Lion and Otter show was The Shark Encounter. Last year they gave the exhibit a little overdressing of Halloween decor. This season, with the abundance of leftovers from the dismantled Captain Lucky's Maze, they didn't hold anything back, decorating the entire exhibit nicely from the sign out front to the giant fossilized megalodon jaws at the end. It was refreshing to see at least something decorated for Halloween after what the did near the entrance and the under sea pumpkin patch.

THE SIX FEET UNDER: D+

I love this place, probably more than Disneyland, and I spend a lot of time there because it is local. Spooktacular is getting the + only because of The Shark Encounter efforts. It barely earned the D over an F- only because I love Spooky Kooky Castle so much and would like to see it return as the main show for 2014's 50th anniversary celebration run (it's no longer being confirmed due to management). SeaWorld has a special place in my heart, but this 50th project is weighing heavily on it. There is one thing Disney really knows how to do well and SeaWorld should learn from it: how to properly manage the park during a large refurbishment or new construction phase. Compare the Starbucks remodel on Main Street, USA and the refurbishment of Thunder Mountain to last year's Manta mess or this year's new entrance gate disaster. They can't even be compared--it's like apples to oranges just in comparison. SeaWorld needs to figure out this mess quickly before the Christmas season arrives, or it will be like the Bumpbus hounds getting the Christmas dinner turkey.

Funny note: Snow World was all set up today and being filled with snow. My guess is they were shooting a commercial or conducting some promotional photography for this season.

 

LOST IN THE SHADOW OF THE KINGDOM

(The Empty Grave Anaheim, CA)

September 15th, 2013

Someone wicked but wise once said you can sometimes find a diamond in the rough. And, before you go crawling into a tiger mouth cave looking for it, back up a few blocks to Anaheim's GardenWalk, and you just may find it. We met Mike Talarico last season through a mutual friend and were introduced to his haunt the same night. What we found was a tight-knit cast, tons of raw energy, and a haunt built purely on the anticipation of fear. There were no huge animatronics, there weren't million dollar set pieces--what we had here was the working man's haunt. Humble but scary. The key ingredient to any haunt is the scare factor. Any wealthy group can hire a great set designer or animatronic developer, but if the talent is lacking, you will always be remembered or branded as not being scary. And once you receive that black mark on your haunt, kiss your career in this industry goodbye. It would take great bounding leaps to recover from reviews or street credit like that. The Empty Grave was remembered by our team as our favorite haunt of 2012.

With that being said, we jump forward to 2013. With a new building deal in hand, Mike had to open his doors in early August. With that came many challenging off-peak season nights of trying to convince bewildered and exhausted summer travelers, returning from a day at the Magic Kingdom, to dare enter his maze of tight twisting turns through an old Hollister store (that couldn't have been a better setting). Now that the season is upon us, The Empty Grave has several advantages on the rest of us: his actors are primed, the maze is finished and permitted and this was all done way before the season even began. The haunt has a great soundtrack, tons of atmosphere, a foyer in show mode, upgraded special effects and all the great returning actors wanting your blood. We highly recommend this haunt, and suggest you bring friends. 2 for $20 is the price, or $13 for singles. It's always more fun to pack the hearst up with extra bodies and head to a haunt. Give The Empty Grave a try. It's just a few blocks away from the Happiest Place On Earth.

SET DESIGN & CREATIVITY 15

ORIGINALITY/THEME 15

MAZE SCARE FACTOR 17

MONSTERS 18

MAKE-UP AND COSTUMING 16

OVERALL 81/100

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